So I’m not A Size 2

I boasted at the beginning of the year that this would be a space that I can be honest and real. Today I begin to write from that deep part of me that I am scared to let anyone see.  I’m not a size 2. My waist doesn’t measure 25 inches around, I have a large rib cage, and broad shoulders. I’m also a dancer.  Does that surprise you with what I just told you? I don’t how many times I’ve heard that “dancers have perfect bodies”.  Many do but guess what world?!  I am not one of them.  I don’t fit the dancer mold and I’ve battled that idea for years.  Chances you’d look at me and say “athlete yes, but dancer I’m not sure”.  I don’t know when the perfect dancer mold was formed but it only fits about 2% of the world and unfortunately that 2% all lives in the dance world. I keep telling myself I am going to do this my way, just the way I am, but that thought often slips when someone looks at you and says “work harder at the gym”. What that person doesn’t know is anything about me.  What can you possibly know by just looking at me? My “look” doesn’t show you that I work hard, I exercise, I obsess over good music, I love deeply, I laugh a lot, I sing terribly in the shower, I love taking class, and I love to eat a good meal. Sadly my “look” will determine what auditions I am sent to or what jobs I book and I have to be ok with that.  This is an internal battle I deal with all the time and I am no master of those negative thoughts but it’s a start. I refuse to let the dance world ruin me or turn me into something I am not. This is in no way to shame those 2% that are lucky with great genetics and probably work hard for their bodies.  I can only speak for me. And I will only speak for me. “You are amazing, remember that.”

xoxo