I sat on the beach this past Monday to soak up the last bit of summer and I realized something while listening to a Podcast. With every wave coming in I begun to see that I’ve been wasting A LOT of time. And somehow this is just hitting me.
Your probably wondering what I’ve been doing to waste all this time. Instagram, netflix, or facebook (all time wasters) but not the culprits this time. This time I was wasting precious life.
As most of you know we re-located to Spain last August and it has been a whirlwind. Tons of change and it left me feeling a little shaken and not knowing who I was. I’m not legally permitted to have a job so that presented some interesting challenges and I’m surrounded by a foreign culture/language/people.
I’ve written about that “lost identity” feeling and I let it overtake my life last year. By no means am I saying I’ve got it all figured out but I’m learning everyday. I chose to justify feeling lost or sad because of my circumstances. I felt alone and without a community and I reveled in that rather than separating myself from that feeling and learning from it. Get out of the house Jessie and go find a community right?! I wish I had that little face palm emoji that I could insert right here.
THERE WERE SO MANY lessons to learn and I wasted most of them. The silliest things like learning of few vocab words in the cab while he potentially ripped me off because I’m American. Or the new friends I met from all over the world while I fumbled through Spanish classes.
Even the hardest moments provided mini lessons or opportunities to change my perspective. So you see it wasn’t netflix that took my precious time but the way I chose to live life. I wasted lesson after lesson while wearing my “this life is hard” goggles. Now life can indeed be REALLY hard. It isn’t peaches and cream everyday and I am not saying I don’t feel sadness and loneliness because I do. I feel those a bit too often but it’s the time I spent in those moments, not noticing lessons, that I wasted prime experiences. Feel fully first and then separate yourself from those feelings like watching a TV screen. Recognize it, analyze it, then learn from it.
Is how I am spending my time serving my life for the better? That statement kind of makes me want to roll my eyes because let’s be honest….I spend too much time scrolling on insta or enjoying some good netflix but…I need to make sure in those moments my thoughts are serving me for the better. Are they thoughts of creativity, inspiration, and excitement? Or are they thoughts of comparison, negativity, and self doubt? And if they are the later, what can I learn? How can I shift my focus?
It’s easy to compare our lives to others when we think ours is less than. For me it’s watching my friends work in jobs I want but can’t have being in here Spain. But….I AM IN FREAKING SPAIN. So it’s a change of perspective and a promise that I will not waste a single more moment!
Wanna join me?!